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Stepping into ourselves, we settle into our purpose, which allows our gifts to blossom, be seen, and flourish. -Elizabeth

For the past few months, I have been spending a lot of time assessing, losing myself, wandering different planes, and have ended up mostly confused. I have found myself asking myself what the F’ is going on almost every day. I felt like I entered a vortex. During these times, I hole up and want nothing more than to stay in my sacred space. Last night my husband came home and said, “Beth you created an ashram. What goddess are you honoring tonight or is it just the light?” Mostly, all of it, goddesses and all.

When you begin to step further into yourself and accept your gifts, you settle into your purpose. You re-organize yourself and life to begin to share those gifts. Before any of that can happen, you have to accept your gifts for real. You have to own them. This is what I realized about myself. I have been afraid and uncomfortable with some of my gifts. As a child I was mostly scared of my psychic intuition and kept it hidden. My husband says that I scare him because I know exactly what he’s thinking without him saying anything.

Once we feel safe, comfortable, and settle into who we are, I believe that we then flourish and blossom.

I have been assessing what direction I am heading as well as where I am putting my efforts. I am notorious for adding too much to my schedule. In the spirit of the autumn and coming cold months, I am desiring simplicity big time. I have decided to move my blog to my main site www.sisterhawk.com. You can read all of my new blog posts from there going forward. For a short time, I will post a link to all new blog posts here for you to be redirected to the other site.

Thank you for being part of this blog space, and I look forward to sharing more at www.sisterhawk.com.

My deepest blessings and gratitude,

Elizabeth

Motherhood=Surrender

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Motherhood is teaching me sweet sweet surrender in every moment. What a lesson in impermanence. Where there is growth, there is letting go while trying to hold on.

Motherhood is teaching me surrender. Everyday as my daughter grows, transforms, and changes instantly, I am faced with impermanence. The sacred lesson of the divine feminine is that of surrender. As women, we learn the subtleties of letting go when we give birth, love, raise children, and as our bodies transform with every cycle of the moon. We intimately know the workings of the divine feminine.

Indira has taught me surrender. She’s the greatest teacher as every child is. My daughter’s condition Tuberous Sclerosis Complex has also taught me surrender. Honestly, it would be easy for me to worry every minute of the day about Indira– worry if she is going to have a seizure, or suddenly regress, or start to have behavioral issues, or grow skin lesions on her beautiful face, or be diagnosed with Autism. Yes, that is all possible. I worry she will have a seizure in the middle of the night, or when I am not near her. It’s part of being her mother and a mother. You worry. You cry. You laugh. You practice patience. You let go of trying to control. I surrender to the moment. The moments that are incredible, beautiful, and sweet as well as completely uncomfortable and incredibly challenging.

I feel so deeply that when we allow ourselves to surrender we create space for the present moment to unfold. We allow it to be all that it can be and possibly more.

P.S. Today, I am grateful and feel blessed that my daughter is miraculously beating all the odds. She’s doing well, and is seizure free. She’s smart and engaged in all of life. She’s happy.  I’ll pray for that daily. Blessed be.

What do you want?

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What do you want? Have you ever been asked that question? And, sat there thinking for like hours about what is you really want.

The answer is there. It is not what anyone else wants for you. It is not what your parents, friends, ancestors, and or advisors want for you. It is what YOU want.

It is a question that goes straight to your gut and goes straight to your jugular (as my writing teacher used to say).

We all are conditioned into an answer of what others may have projected onto us starting at birth, and usually this is not what we want. I can see how my wants for Indira may not at all be what she wants in the future.

When I am asked this question I am always stunned, and sometimes have no idea what to say. Why? Because, most of us don’t get asked this question very often. So, when I was asked recently I paused. I had to get clear and connected to hear exactly what it is that I want. Sometimes, it’s unattainable in the moment. Like right now, I want a beach vacation with a book, my journal, palm trees, and crystal clear waters a la Costa Rica.

What do you want? Listen to that deep, quiet voice that rises out of the depths of your core-self. It has something to say.

Clean Slates

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This post is all about clean slates.  In May of 2012, I started a book. I wrote 35 pages and I hadn’t opened it since. It has taken me three years to open the file. Something happened that I couldn’t explain, and so I left it unopened sitting there in my documents. I had started it after I had finished teaching special education. I was entirely convinced that I’d write about the unjust, f’d up educational system and how teaching was where I learned zen meditation.

When, I opened this story again three days ago all I did was cry. I sat there and cried. I re-read some of the stories about the kids I taught and my heart was broken all over again. I re-read about the anger, frustration, and the unbelievable that happened on a daily basis. And, I re-read about the love–the love of teaching, and love for my students.

Ready to write again, I sat down and tried to write. I added only one sentence and stopped. Most of what I write comes from a place that I can’t describe. Words are gifted to me simply to be shared. I have no other purpose in my writing, except to share this gift. I sat there staring at my screen asking, “What am I supposed to share? Where are the words?”

I get to start over with a clean slate. Clean slates are blessings and gateways into possibility.

Sometimes, we need to surrender, be brave and let go of our ideas, beliefs, fears, friendships/relationships, patterns, excuses, and anything that’s holding us back. When we wipe the slate clean, we are given new energy to create a new life, and a new story (including double rainbows).

The Nature of Being Humbled

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“Practice more,” my teacher said.

Our own personal practice provides us the opportunity to quiet our external desires, our story, our image, and settles us into our inner-self.

In so many ways we are humbled by life. Sometimes it is through our own suffering, life circumstances, illness, our teachers, or the work we do. I look at this spring earth, and how it becomes gentler, softer, and vulnerable. The mother earth is ever so vulnerable as she carries us, holds us, and nourishes our lives.

When we are humbled we soften, allow ourselves to receive, and become vulnerable. This may not feel comfortable and it may feel like we are meeting our edge. We can learn so much from being in this space.

Becoming a mother has been a life-changing practice for me, and deeply humbling. When you become a mother the seams of your heart open. You and your child become a seamless connection. You become humbled by unconditional love.

As a mother, you are pushed to your edge daily. You worry sometimes irrationally. You lose all selfish tendencies. Even when you do something for yourself or go to work you are still present with your child, and may even feel a tinge of guilt.  Even in your most exhausted, overwhelmed, do-it-all moments, or when you just can’t take anymore– we slowly soften surrendering to the heart of all that matters. This is the nature of being humbled.

When we allow ourselves to soften and step into the heart of all that matters, we become humbled. It is not a place of weakness, yet a quiet strength like that of our mother earth.

 

Boundary Lessons

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Learning how to set boundaries is more often than not a lesson we typically don’t forget. Setting boundaries keeps us in our essence and maintains our light; however, when we don’t set clear boundaries we end up losing our essence and in some situations our health and vitality. The goal: create boundaries while staying open.

Creating boundaries allows you to stay open to those experiences, people, relationships, and opportunities that will support your transformation and evolution, and will be supportive and nourishing for you. This leads to healthier relationships and experiences.

I learned boundaries the hard way. Throughout my life, I was frequently in situations that were less than healthy and unsupportive. And, when I was a teacher, I constantly felt like my boundaries were being broken down and tested. I didn’t learn how to set healthy boundaries. Just as an example, my mother used to call me 7-8 times a day and it took me finally saying that you can’t do that anymore for it to stop, and now we are at once per day. The one way that you learn to set boundaries is by not setting them at all. Really, when we don’t do this we end up wishing we had or wishing we had done something differently.

This extends to our partnerships and intimate relationships where we are vulnerable and open. We have to maintain healthy boundaries in our relationships by establishing what is acceptable and what is not. It doesn’t mean we close ourselves off, it simply means we are being compassionate to ourselves.

I feel like we are all learning this lesson lately in many ways. It is up to us to step into our power and essence, and create healthy boundaries.

Boundaries in a Nutshell

  1. You are not a bad or mean person because you have established clear boundaries. “No” is good.
  2. Do it sooner than later. We all get into situations that we wish we hadn’t gotten involved with or we realize that it’s just not going to work for us. Set the guidelines before you are backpedaling.
  3. Get clear, what are your boundaries? Do you need to establish clearer boundaries? Are you afraid you may hurt someone?
  4. Be compassionate with yourself first.
  5. Sometimes we are so open that we don’t even realize that we are not energetically protecting our essence. Take time to sit and see where you maybe giving too much of yourself to others.
  6. Speak it. Use your voice, and speak your truth. If you don’t tell someone that they have crossed a line, they will never know and keep doing what they are doing.
  7. Attract those people and experiences into your life that are supportive by setting healthy boundaries. Healthy boundaries=being open to receiving the good stuff like love, respect, nourishment, and support.

 

 

Happy Fall Equinox

 

Day of Ancestors Meditation

I listen to your stories woven in the wind

of lineage

of crossings

of hardships

of saints.

I listen,

Heal your lineage,

awaken your lives with deep awareness

honor ancient wisdom that speaks quietly in the leaves of our unified family tree.

 

Blessings on this Autumn Equinox! And, all of the abundance that the fall harvest brings, like butternut squash soup, cozy sweaters, golden sunsets, and spell binding winds of change.

 

 

 

Every Aspect

It is not enough to be busy. So are the ants.

The question is; what are we busy about?

-Henry David Thoreau

Every aspect, EVERY, aspect of our lives is important. When we don’t focus on one area of our lives and give it attention, it changes and morphs into something else. That one area that we didn’t pay attention to can become something less than desirable like ill health, empty bank accounts, and lost love. When we lose our health, we have forgotten about our own needs. In our super busy lives, we can’t always focus on every area of our life. I can’t. The lesson every part of our life is important, and deserves attention. They say god(goddess) is in the details, and it may just be true.

(The funny thing about this lesson and this quote is that there are sugar ants all over my house that I can’t get rid of. I get rid of them and they come again. My daughter seems to be feeding them her small scraps. Damn those ants are persistent.)

Sister Hawk Living, Lifestyle Coaching

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I have started a new venture- Sister Hawk Living, Lifestyle Coaching. I am combining all that I have learned from my experience and studies into a coaching business. My vision is to help others discover that they can heal and that healing is possible. I invite you to take a look, and spread the word as you wish.

I will continue write my blog posts here. I love writing this blog.

I am deeply grateful. Thank you for taking the time to read what I have to say. It means so much to me.

Blessings!