This post is all about clean slates. In May of 2012, I started a book. I wrote 35 pages and I hadn’t opened it since. It has taken me three years to open the file. Something happened that I couldn’t explain, and so I left it unopened sitting there in my documents. I had started it after I had finished teaching special education. I was entirely convinced that I’d write about the unjust, f’d up educational system and how teaching was where I learned zen meditation.
When, I opened this story again three days ago all I did was cry. I sat there and cried. I re-read some of the stories about the kids I taught and my heart was broken all over again. I re-read about the anger, frustration, and the unbelievable that happened on a daily basis. And, I re-read about the love–the love of teaching, and love for my students.
Ready to write again, I sat down and tried to write. I added only one sentence and stopped. Most of what I write comes from a place that I can’t describe. Words are gifted to me simply to be shared. I have no other purpose in my writing, except to share this gift. I sat there staring at my screen asking, “What am I supposed to share? Where are the words?”
I get to start over with a clean slate. Clean slates are blessings and gateways into possibility.
Sometimes, we need to surrender, be brave and let go of our ideas, beliefs, fears, friendships/relationships, patterns, excuses, and anything that’s holding us back. When we wipe the slate clean, we are given new energy to create a new life, and a new story (including double rainbows).