Retired at 33…

Poem for Ms. Farrell

By E.V

Never give up on your self

even if you blush

So don’t be a dummy

about your self

OOOOO AAAA so just feel good your self.

So just forget everyone else

Cause you don’t know what you are losing

intill you lose it.

Teaching captures you. Teaching gets into your skin. It becomes part of you. You either have the ability to teach or you don’t. Once you are a teacher you are always a teacher!  I began teaching at 20. I started at a charter school in Boston, and I’ve ended my years of teaching here in Santa Fe. I taught in inner-city schools. I love the art of teaching, but teaching in the current public education system as a special education teacher is not sustainable. Most inner-city public education teachers will tell you their awesomely unbelievable stories of what it’s like working as a teacher. You may even walk away in disbelief, because you can’t believe that what you just heard is true. Well, it is.

After one-year of teaching again, I had no choice but to resign, and retire from working as a special education teacher. I wasn’t myself. I admit it. I was drained. I was sick again. I had no time for practice.  I worked three other jobs to make ends meet. And, my nervous system was shot, and my adrenals began asking me what the F*** ! I wanted to do what I could do to help my students, inspire them, and well yes save them. At the end my mission to “SAVE,” I once again realized it’s not possible. I can only save myself.

I am now retired at 33, and I am going to write, practice, and see what shows up next. I will practice the art of doing nothing aka rest. I have no idea how to do this. It’s time to learn. I will share. I’ve started with sleeping in and laying in bed. This seems like a good place to start.

Here is an excerpt from the book I am now writing. I am manifesting it being published. May it be so! Send some love to this manifestation if you would like to read my book one day.

“Being a teacher has been something I have been most proud of. I have loved and cared for my students. It’s been one of the deepest lessons of unconditional love. I have learned that no matter how challenging my students were at times, I still loved them. They taught me this simple lesson, like all children can. When I got into teaching it was because I had a passion and complete love for these kids that had nothing, that came from circumstances that well make your heart break over and over again, who couldn’t read or write or read a book, or couldn’t sit still, or threw things, banged their heads on walls, or did back flips on impulse. Because, even if the rest of the world couldn’t see how amazing they were or how brilliant they were, somehow I saw it, and I wanted them to be great and I believed in them. However, what has failed me as a teacher  and what has failed my students, is a broken  public educational  system, poverty, and a society that has forgotten.”

May my students shine. May all teachers inspire. May we see our students as our teachers.

 

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