After rising out of Supta Badha Konasana as we always did at the beginning of class with Peentz and moved into a reading from the sutras, Iyengar’s text, or poem, I remember the day I heard her say, “we become content with discontentment.” These words pummeled my sitting-upright-breath-focused being, as I totally felt zapped with the wake-up stick. I held back tears that decided my throat chakra would be a good place to rest for the remainder of class and maybe longer; as I had become awesomely aware of how in my personal life I had become content and comfortable with being discontent. Peentz, I remember came over to me and asked me what was going on, because I didn’t seem the same. Later, I confessed how divinely perfect this whole “content with discontentment” was my reality, and was in the process of separating from it through divorce. After that moment, I decided to not live my life like that again, and to notice where I may be accepting and getting cozy with being discontent.
Has this ever happened to you? Where you know that you have gotten really comfortable with something that is actually hurting you or not supporting you? And, you know you have to change it, and only you alone can? And, you sit there wondering why you have gotten so damn cozy, and isn’t this enough? The truth is you can change it. You can make the choice to no longer accept being comfortable with what makes your highest self squirm. Confessional blurt…my areas of discontentment are my job, sacrificing myself and my time, and expecting the worst to happen. Per my life coach, I am no longer allowed to expect the worst. The truth is I’m terrified of good things happening in my life for fear that it all may go away, as it has in the past. And when I catch my mind going in this direction, I have to stop it and let go from grasping to this thought pattern. The lesson for me is to accept goodness, and do what truly is new and uncomfortable, and step into life.
Yogasana is a way we can practice and become aware of where in our bodies we have become comfortable with being uncomfortable. Then, we can extend this out into our life. We know our knee hurts when we do Parsvottanasana, yet we keep hyper-extending our knee instead of taking support because it somehow has become comfortable for our body to do it that way. Or do we push our body beyond it’s capacity in our asana practice, and then we are injured. What happens though when we are in Urdvha Danurasana and we are used to that subtle pain in our lower back that doesn’t go away? Do we back off or push through that very uncomfortable thing because we are so used to it we simply just deal? When do we say “I no longer have to be content with the discontent?”