New Poem

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There is a hawk that lives in a tree by my house. It is a frequent visitor. I see this as pure magic. This poem is inspired by my hawk-friend.

We rise

over and over again

our wings take flight

we soar

our feathers

woven in wisdom

our wings carry echoes

of how we have left our other self  in pieces to rest

how we have lifted our heavy wings

to light.

Ready, Set, GO!

Indira Slides

Indira waits at the top of the slide. Excitement builds in her eyes. Ready, set, go– she flies down the slide. Full of smiles and complete joy. She is ready to go down again. She doesn’t have fear. She is free.

She didn’t plan how she was going to get down the slide. She didn’t think of every little curve or detail of the curve. She didn’t write a detailed plan. Nor, did she sit at the top of the slide waiting for the perfect moment.

The perfect moment is the one you are in.

When we are standing on top of a mountain slope, on the edge of a high diving board, or on the ledge of a trapeze platform ready to fly, or a metaphorical bridge we may stay there awhile contemplating if we are ready or not. Most of the time you can turn around, otherwise, there is only one way to go—down.

We may not ever be ready. And yet, what if everything you have done in your life was guiding you to that perfect moment? What if you are ready? It is scary to take giant-boundless-leaps a là Hanuman.

Lately, I feel stuck on top of the slide, because I am scared—scared to go. I make a long list of excuses. I hole up and hide out. I believe the stories I have created about failure and success. So, I wait a little longer. This is not my normal. Normally, I just go for it, and I am meditating on an abundant result. Sometimes that happens and sometimes it doesn’t.

Either way, I trust that I am in the perfect moment and a lesson is woven in the waiting to be ready.

We are all READY. We are all in that perfect moment. Ready…Set…Go!

***Coming very soon is a new coaching endeavor I will be working on to help children and families with Tuberous Sclerosis Complex and Autism. ***

Stardust (a new poem)

IMG_5189“Stardust”

When all is said

When all is done

When we return to infinite stardust

When we breathe our final breath

What will matter?

The job you had

The money

The accumulation

The fear

The worry

The story

The wants

What will matter?

The joy you gathered

In the quiet vessels of your heart

When you return to infinite love.

I find that when I experience “busy,” I miss something important like the moment when my daughter does something so brilliant, or subtle. I missed the “joy” experience because I was busy. We are all in these moments everyday depending on what we have going on. Some of us experience another form of busy like a busy mind. Right now, I can tell you that I am writing blog posts at 12:40am instead of sleeping. Busy mom=12:40am blog posts. Yet, a quiet house is a blessing. I find joy in writing when I can sit quietly to pause from “busy.”

May there be joy in all of our shared experiences.

Notes on Healing

As I dove into the energy of the new moon the other day, I realized I wasn’t on time with my blog post. I’ve noticed the synchronicity of my blog and the moon cycle, and I missed it. Life has kept me in its busy flow.

In my own experience and in working with clients as a Reiki Master practitioner, yoga teacher, and health coach the healing journey unfolds. This journey takes us inside ourselves as we begin to unravel and uncover our deepest selves.

A list of reflections came to me over the past few weeks, and I share them with you along with a video of the ocean for all of us ocean-starved.

  1. Our body, mind, spirit, and emotional being want to heal. Our truest nature is vibrant and healthy. Our cells want to thrive and continue thriving. Our DNA wants to be full functioning.
  2. The question, “Do you want to get better?” is often asked. Personally, I like “What part of yourself are you not loving?” When I ask myself this question an answer usually arrives. The question then is what do I do with that answer. This is where actions come in, such as taking more time for myself, asking for help (not easy for me to do by the way), or rewiring my thought patterns.
  3. When we begin to take steps towards loving ourselves, we begin to heal ourselves.
  4. Illness has a purpose. Sounds crazy, I know. When we are tired of being sick, we become empowered to start taking care of ourselves by changing our lifestyle, and learning to take care of ourselves. Being sick is a wake up call to our higher selves.
  5. Healing is like peeling back layers of an onion. You start with the outside and go deeper. You may heal the symptoms of your condition and for many that is huge. However, there are many layers that go beyond the physical symptoms. We also must look at the emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects.
  6. The more you identify with your sickness and continue to create a life around that sickness, I believe it continues to live on and perpetuate. By saying, “I am sick” or “I am X condition” we lose ourselves to it and become powerless to our disease.
  7. Get in touch with your body. Listen to it. Settle into it. Learn what it needs. Learn what makes your cells spark and ignite. Learn a practice to ground you into your body—like yoga or qi gong.
  8. The love prescription. I feel deeply that having love in our lives is an important aspect to our healing.
  9. Healing takes time, and often we lose patience with the process. Healing may take years or it may take a little bit longer.

As I finish writing this I am struck with the truth that it may take my adrenal glands years to heal from 2-years of sleepless nights from my daughter not sleeping through the night. And, so it’s time to practice yoga. That will help.

Healing is a process. We all are on the journey together.

Grace Underfoot, a new poem

IMG_5196“As women, we have the power of Shakti not only to heal ourselves, but to nourish, nurture, and heal everything around us. Unfortunately, our modern lifestyles tend to pull us away from our true nature. In the overwhelmingly busy world we have created for ourselves, we strive for good health, peace, and prosperity, but these goals often elude us. We devalue the very source of what heals us–Mother Nature and her moon, sun, seasons, forests, sky, water, and food. Every day, in big and small ways, we each disregard the essence of our True Self. The state of our individual and collective well-being tells the whole story of the myths of medicine that we’ve perpetuated.” Sri Swamini Mayatitananda (Maya Tiwari)

I read this last night, as I tend to go to Maya Tiwari for an ayurvedic approach to women’s healing. We have the innate ability to heal ourselves, and get lost in the many translations of how to heal our ailments and our physical problems with this diet, this herb, this medicine, and so forth. I’ve learned that the greatest healing comes from time in nature, and tapping into the grace that resides within each of us. We are all connected to this wisdom. We all are healers.

A poem I wrote on the beach. The ocean heals me deeply, and in this desert I crave it. Peace and truth.

Grace Underfoot

Egrets arrive like a silent mantra of grace

resting underfoot

stepping closer

to presence

to shakti

within forever dancing

guiding breath

and every step

closer.

 

2015 in the NOW

Every New Year brings new intentions, and lots of manifesting. Each year, I would craft my manifestations and envision them happening. Why not try to manifest all that you can, right? We create our reality, and we do that moment to moment. Then, the unexpected happens. What’s not written in our yearly entry are the lessons we need to learn, and the parts of our journey that are unexpected and unexplainable. My daughter was my greatest lesson in the unexplainable and unexpected this year. Typically, we ask for awesome experiences, because that’s what we want. Yet, if we only had awesome experiences would we ever learn what we needed, would we ever know light by going through some challenges? My experience has shown me that we learn light through shadow. Light must penetrate the darkness for truth to be revealed.

What if we stopped manifesting and actually started living in the NOW-moment. It is from the present moment that we can create our reality.

This year, I have learned hard lessons, and at times that is incredibly exhausting. I have made a choice to NOT manifest my 2015, and live more in the present because that changes my entire experience.

May the light shine on.

Thank you for reading my blog. I appreciate you.

Winter Solstice Poem

This is my poem for the New Moon and Winter Solstice. I am so ready to savor the quiet that this time of year brings, and to reflect on the gifts, the lessons, and the coming of a new year. Let’s create peace, joy, and spread love. Thank you for being present with what I share here, blessings and peace.

“Unleash”
Unleash
your quiet dreams
the ones you are most afraid to speak
Unleash
your truth
the vastness buried deep in your heart
Unleash
your joy
locked in the memory of your cells
Unleash
the you
You forgot.

Motherhood Initiation

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As women we are initiated at a young age to our womanhood and begin our connection to the sacred feminine. We grow into each phase constantly transforming our femininity with a quiet flow of shakti that we come to embody.

Motherhood is an initiation into our sacred role where we align with all mothers.

Initiations can bring great transformation, heartache, joy, and at times can break you down until you become the essence and embody your truest nature.

Almost, one year ago, I was faced with my greatest challenge as a new mother. My daughter’s diagnosis of Tuberous Sclerosis Complex (TSC) was heart breaking, and quietly broke me as I surrendered. I was initiated into being her mother. Clearly, she was asking me, “Are you up to the task? Are you able? Are you ready? I have chosen you!” I said, “Absolutely” without knowing what that meant at all, and I still don’t.

 Initiations are opportunities to step into a place of surrender, growth, graceful alignment, and embodiment.

Today, my daughter is a miracle. She is seizure free, and is developing normally. I have read awful accounts of children suffering with TSC that have many seizures per day with tumors throughout their body, and a host of other complications. No parent is every prepared for an incredibly difficult diagnosis, and neither were we. I will tell you that some days are harder than others. Yet, everyday I can say that I am blessed with a tremendous little girl who is very happy to be in this world. Everyday, I am grateful because by some grace of goddess, my daughter is doing well. Everyday counts–every single day.

May your journey be blessed with peace.

Being Vulnerable

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We have shells, an external skin, which says “I am strong, resilient.” Our shells have stories dense with plot, conflict, pivotal characters, happiness, wounds, and trauma. We have shells as a form of protection that keep us thinking of how strong and tough we are. I have that very story. The one that stays strong and resilient in all situations no matter how deeply challenging it may be to do so. We all have a tipping point when we reach a place where we can no longer keep our shell.

We suddenly soften allowing ourselves to be humbled and vulnerable. Scary. Very scary. Now what?

Being vulnerable and allowing ourselves to be humbled by our deep experience takes strength of a different kind. It is the working of grace. Complete grace. With grace underfoot we can release into the grace of our heart wisdom. We allow softness to pervade instead of our hardened shell.

I am not versed in vulnerability, and don’t allow myself to be vulnerable. So, I started with telling the truth, and reaching out of my very own shell. And, I quietly cringe.

(The oddest thing is that for the past two days there has been a snake skin outside of our back door. I haven’t moved it. It’s still very much there, and I can’t seem to move it. A reminder.)

Blessings to you, and thank you for reading.